Ready for the Fight

I know all the kind of excuses that I can give for not actually exercising and all of them really just boil down to one thing... I'm too lazy. I know this tends to be everyone's new year resolution but i mean it! I will not be 298lbs for 2013 I will not let myself be this unhealthy and just big anymore. I need to get into shape for not only my sister's wedding but I'm hoping to work at Marmon Valley Farm again this summer and I would really like it if I can keep up with all the kids without sounding like a steam train. I'm ready for this change and I will not take any of my excuses. And I hope you don't take them either. I am laying my weight out... it is no secret. I will also update my weight as we go along. But at the beginning of this journey in April I was in the 300's and then i lost a good 30 or 40lbs over the summer and I've managed to gain almost all of it back. I have goals.. I'm hoping by June when I go back to Marmon Valley Farm (Lord Willing) I will have shed at least 50lbs. And like I said "at least"... I'm ready for this change.

Wedding

So I've got exciting news!!! My little sister is getting married!! She was proposed to by her long time best friend and boyfriend today! But I also found out that she wants me to be a bridesmaid... ummm well if that's not a reason to lose weight I'm not sure what is.. but thankfully she also wants to lose weight so we are going to start to make healthy meal plans... and I have to stick to these because I need to lose weight!!! I'm going to be completely honest... I am back to being around 290lbs.. yeah I am less than when I started but not where I should be at all. I'm not sure what my comfortable weight would be.. and so I'm going to start by making sure I'm not only eating portion size meals I am also getting the exercise that I need to tone up. I want to look and feel great... So here we go

Food

Have you ever had one of those days where everytime you turned around you realized that you were eating? I swear I've eaten so much crap today and honestly I probably couldn't even tell you all of what I ate. I know it's because I'm bored so automatically I think.. Oh I should go eat... but honestly I need to find a new outlet for boredom. I was talking to a friend of mine the other day about how most of any income I recieve I spend on food... I mean I pratically eat my paycheck. She told me that she does the same thing to, and it's because she can justify it with the fact that... yeah, she needs food to survive so it is a neccesity... But when I'm spending most of my money on junk food... yeah that is definantly not a neccesity... I am on food stamps now and it is a blessing and a curse. I am poor since I have no job and all and I am looking for a job as we speak, but for now food stamps is my main source of income for food. It is a curse though too, because it allows you to spend money on chips and soda, and candy... I honestly for me think that food stamps should restrict the amount of money you can spend on crap. But maybe I just need to learn how to have self control. I am going to try to grocery shop on the healthy side this next month. Veggies, Fruit, Fresh meat, not frozen... I'm also thinking about cutting out a lot of the milk I have in my diet... Milk and I don't get a long stomache wise that much anymore. So hopefully I'll not only start exercising more but also eating healthy... hopefully we'll start to see some progress...

Consistency...

Well apparently I am horrible at sticking to my goals... not only have I broken all the goals but I've gained weight... yep... I'm officially annoyed with myself. But starting next week one of my friends is going to start being an accountability partner and we are going to walk and do other exercises and hopefully eventually I'll lose some weight. Please if you read this... pray for me. I'm in need... I just can't stay this weight or God forbid get in bigger... I need to get healthy and also just find a way to feel confident in my own skin. My goal and hopefully I'll reach it... is by April 2013 to have lost 50lbs from where I am now... it may seem small to many.. but this is a big goal in my book.

New goals

So I know for a fact that I haven't lost anything since I've been home and it is dissapointing. I am someone who needs to be held accountable. I am just so quick to pick up junk food and eat it because lets face it... It tastes so good... but it isn't good for me at all. So here I am telling you all this and I had junk for dinner... yep I need to stop all of this. So I am making a goal for myself. A goal that hopefully I'll stick to... and I encourage anyone who reads this to ask me if I'm keeping up with my goal... But I am cutting out any kind of fast food from my diet... no more quick burgers, or chicken nuggets...etc... and I am also cutting out everything but water. I'm going to stick to water and maybe some orange juice once and a while because during this time of season I need some Vitamin C... and orange juice is my favorite... but I am only buying the organic orange juice... I also need prayer to find a job that will pay me a good wage so I can afford the healthy food that I want to get started on... and for now I'm focusing on portions and no fast food. I am hoping that this new goal will be something that helps me focus. I have also started doing cardio pilates again and walking... but I am quick to give up because of different reasons. Right now it is really cold out... but I am hoping to stop making excuses and just kick my butt into gear...

Alive

Well I didn't sleep last night which isn't good for your weight or overall health. But this morning I went jogging... not far just up and down the street and then walked for a little bit... It felt amazing to be outside and exercising! I also had a great alone time with God. I rededicated my life to Him this morning. I asked Him to help me with this change. I know He will. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." -Philippians 4:13
I am so excited now. I feel alive and refreshed and now I'm off to find great healthy recipes...

Home = equals weight gain..

The problem with being home is that fast food and junk food is within my grasp... I mean McDonald's is just a block away. I am pretty sure that I have gained weight since I've been here. I am though heading back to Cannon Beach where fast food is a distance away. I also don't have a car so I'll be walking, and riding the bus places. I want to really kick my butt into gear because I am tired of being this big and I'm ready for a change... so I am going to start a daily regiment. I'm excited to see the changes that will happen and I cant wait to share the good news of loosing the weight that has held me down for so long. Pray for me as I face this challenge. First I need to cut out the fatty and sweet food that is not healthy. I'm going to also add exercise in my life.